Jennifer's Cancer Journey

 See what I did there? Fear is a Liar is a song for those that don't know. Sometimes when the fear seems to overwhelm me, I will sing this song in my head.  What are my fears? Jokingly, I can say it is an ab workout. I actually admitted that out loud today, but it is true. Ab workouts hurt. It is not the normal workout muscle soreness hurt. It is the my muscles have been cut through hurt. It is a deep burn that feels almost unbearable. I get it sometimes when I try for the longer runs too. Not all ab workouts hurt, but the ones that are effective do. Testing season is coming up. Just the word TEST can evoke fear right now. It is hard to not think about where I was at this time last year. Many days I felt like I was barely hanging on, but I didn't know why. I thought...or hoped that a bleeding ulcer was causing my severe anemia. Of course, now I know that was not the issue.  Fear...when I get tired, I am afraid I am anemic. When I have pains, I am afraid cancer has spread ...

 If you know me well, then you know that I love to be busy. I love getting to go to work everyday. I have a love/hate relationship with my 5am runs! I may or may not be ready for the half marathon by January. My free time is spent trying to transform the former boys room into the guest room of my dreams; however, I am bound by my ability and my finances. I have a closet kit ordered and on back order. I also have a tv, wall mount, and another closet kit in my Amazon cart waiting for the funds. I need the contractor to give me an estimate on some work that is way over my head. I have the brass bed frame (my grandmother's), but I need a mattress. I also may need the slats. I won't know until I get it out of storage.  I have a night stand that matches the dresser, and a cedar chest, but I want an antiqueish looking, but comfortable chair that is not too big. I also have a new ceiling fan/light picked out and plan to replace the closet light fixture. I think I also want a mirror to...