Jennifer's Cancer Journey

 The ON/OFF switch and how it applies to my treatment and mentality... Before I get to that, let me give you a little bit of background. Most of you know by now that I have 4 kids...well, 4 adults. Their personalities are all very different. Josh has always been an independent person who is very creative, yet forgetful. Samantha is stubborn...very, very stubborn. She is determined and set in her ways. It will be nearly impossible to get her to change her mind once she decides on something. Hannah is Hannah. She is kid #4. She doesn't seem to have a care in the world and is very go with the flow. What motivates everyone else does not motivate her. She is her own person...one that I don't always understand. Then there is kid #3! Kid #3 is my answered prayer for patience. Caleb has always had a special place in my heart...he disagrees with me on this. His personality shone brightly in utero. He seemed to always be on a coffee high. He was constantly in motion. It seemed like he co...

 It was not my intention to go so long between updates. A lot has happened since my last update. Some I will share and some I will not...at least not yet.  So, I had round 9 and my neuropathy ramped up even more despite my oncologist dropping the Oxaliplatin. Crazy me did a pop up kickboxing class at church the day after disconnect. It was great despite the way I felt. I had decided to go home and walk my dog. He is finally not depressed and is happy. He has even started dumping his toy box to play with toys again. Well, I sat down and that was it. It took a few hours for me to even get up the energy to shower. Then I went to bed.  The next day Samantha had her wedding dress alteration fitting. I was able to button those tiny buttons...I could not do that now. Y'all, my girl is beautiful! Even with her messy hair and yard work tan. I still felt bad, but soaked in the moment. Then I had a moment... What if???? I know, I know, we all hate that question! I know I should stay...