Jennifer's Cancer Journey

 Can I just say that the MD Anderson Acute Care Clinic is top notch! My final rodeo shift did not go as planned. I went and gave it my all, but left early. I had been in pain for a few days. However, when I got home and took my temperature, I knew something was up. According to my paperwork, 100.4 is an ER visit. I was 100.3. I called the number I was given. They told my my temp was borderline, but given my pain, I needed to be seen. So...back in the car around midnight to head all the way back to the same area I had just come from. Marc did not want to go. He wanted to send Hannah with me, but I objected. If I am given bad news, I want to filter it before presenting it to my kids. He reluctantly got in the car to go with me.  I dropped myself off at the entrance and sent him to park. They took my vitals, gave me an ekg (my heart rate had been at about 100 all day and was 118 at check in), and then took me to my room. They took all my blood and set me up with fluids and tyleno...

  Adding in a photo that I like and having a wish I was there moment...also, because when I share this, I can't choose the photo that I want to show up.  Today is the day! I am here. I have had my blood work done AND a video call with my doctor. I have developed Neutropena. Thankfully, it will not stop my infusion this time. My ANC was 1.25. It should be above 1.5, but we will proceed with chemo unless is it 1 or below. Prayers that it never drops that low. I do not want any delays! There were so many "LOW" values on my results. They are also changing my nausea premed in hopes that it helps more than zofran. Going in, I would like to think I know what to expect, but who really knows.  UGH...the 30 minute infusion of the Irinotecan feels like pure torture! I feel like I am frying from the inside and I think it has only been 10 minutes! I logged into MyChart to look at my test results. Sometime this morning my bill has been updated. It was nice only seeing small payments th...

I have had a lot more information thrown at me since my last update, which was Wednesday. Before I get to the update, I am going to give a PSA. March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. If you are reading this, you are likely over the recommended screening age of 45. Don't put off getting checked. I would have still had cancer if I was screened at 45 as opposed to 48, but I probably wouldn't be stage 4 right now. That being said, I think I was already 45 when the age changed. To my children, who may or may not read this now or at some point in the future, you are supposed to start screening at 35. You are high risk. My only indication something was wrong (until about 2 months before I was diagnosed) was anemia.  So, where did I leave off? UGH...the CT Scan...that was an experience that I would prefer to never have again, but apparently, it's protocol. When the CT was over, I had to wait about an hour and a half for my pump ...

 Monday...I have a new reason to hate every other Monday. I started my morning nice and calmly working from home, yet dreading what was to come. Once it was time, I packed up my laptop and headed to the infusion center. I started with bloodwork. Thankfully, it was good to proceed. Of course the first test to come back was the pregnancy test. I had to laugh! Last year it was a running joke, because that test always showed up on Tuesday mornings during out staff meeting. I would open it up and declare with a sigh of relief that I was not pregnant. The people who were not in on that joke would look at me funny. All of my other blood came back as expected, except the CEA. It of course had risen since my appointment on the 12th. Not shocked, but didn't like seeing the jump from 9. something to 13. something. This being my first visit and time with some of these drugs, I got a lot of info thrown at me. This pump is different from the one at Methodist, so I had to watch some troubleshooti...

  I feel like everything is moving at warp speed, yet at the same time, things are moving so slowly. It has been less than 3 weeks since I found out my cancer returned and spread. I want things to move quickly so we can get a handle on this before it gets worse, but I  also want to feel like I can catch my breath some. In case you missed it, chemo starts on Monday.  Quick recap...Meet with an oncologist at MD Anderson on Monday. Chemo is set with Folfiri + Avastin. It seems like MD Anderson ran a crap load of tests. I have been getting "Test Results" texts and emails all week. One of those tests was a UGT1A1 Phenotype test. My result is "Abnormal" which means I am an intermediate metabolizer. This means that I have a higher risk of jaundice or toxicity with the irinotecan. Yay me! They also reread my CT scan from February 4. They agreed with the adenexal mass, which they are calling 7 cm. They noted the deposit in my signmoid messentary as we...

 I had my appointment today. It went well. For those who don't want to read all of my word vomit, I start chemo on Monday.  For those that are ready for my novel, here ya' go!  The nerves...I thought I had a really good handle on all of my past anxiety issues. This past week  has been rough. My anxiety has been next level. Yesterday I woke up at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep. Today it was 3am. That makes for a tired and cranky Jen. Add that to the extra fatigue-y feeling that I have had, which is probably my body working extra to fight against this stupid cancer, and I am wiped by the end of the day. Yet, I am so amped up that I can't sleep. It is a vicious cycle. Let me tell ya' though. I have felt the love and the prayers. Sunday morning, some one had stopped me before I even made it to my desk. He prayed right then and there. I had that happen several times before I had even been there an hour...hallway, stairway, bathroom... I even had someone pray and use a...

 I have sat with this horrible news for over a week. My feelings of fear, grief, dread, and anxiety have not waned. They just come and go some. Before I get into the details that really contain no details, let me say THANK YOU! Thank you for the overwhelming love and support you have given. Thank you for the hugs. Thank you for the text messages. Thank you for the comments here. I do not know who is posting most of them, but I have come back to read them over and over. The prayers offer comfort.  It was a rough week mentally. I tried to put everything out of my head, but every ache, pain, and twinge reminded me that my body is trying to kill me. Wednesday I picked up my phone after a meeting and my heart sunk when the notification across my screen said James Van Der Beek had died. While I never watched Dawson's Creek (I am too old- 90210 was my show), I felt emotionally invested in his journey. He announced publicly that be had been battling stage 3 cancer around the same time...

 It has been a long and rough 24 hours. Around 9am every morning, many staffers go to Corner Books to get coffee. Like any other Thursday, we were talking about things. There were pockets of conversations going on. My phone rang. I knew. I knew the number. I knew the results. I knew how the conversation was going to go.  How could I have gone from feeling on top of the world and running a half marathon less than a month ago to this? GUT PUNCH! My CEA which was 5.5 at diagnosis and averaged 1.6 this past year was now at 6.8 My CA-125 which had never been done was 80. Normal is 0-35 I am still waiting on the results of the signatera test.  All of my other blood work was normal. Now for the hard part. I have 2 pelvic masses. One is 6.5cm x 3.8cm x 4.5 cm. The other is a 1.5 cm nodule. I also have a liver nodule that is 1.5cm x 1.3 cm.  Surgery is off the table. My oncologist wants to biopsy the 1.5 pelvic nodule and start chemo to "control it." No options after that wer...

 So, I have had a whirlwind of a few days. If you remember way back in December, I had a clear CT. Also, at that time I was having some pain. After the clear scans the doctor said it was likely muscular. This was not a crazy idea since I was working my core pretty hard in November and had just started running again to prepare for the half marathon. The pain wasn't constant, it was just annoying. Well the annoying got worse. I would carry my heating pad from room to room. It never really made a difference though. It was pretty steady in relation to pain and coming and going. I had taken time off from core and strength training while working up to the half marathon. I added some pretty intense core work back the last few weeks when we were frozen. Well, that amped up my pain. It hurts pretty bad and all of the time. I just had a feeling...and that feeling is that it wasn't muscular.  Last week I scheduled an appointment with my PCP. She did labs, but was leaning more toward dive...

 So, if you remember way back at the end of November when I got my blood test results, I kind of spiraled though all of the aches and pains that I had bee feeling? Well, I still have the nagging lower abdominal pain. I brought it up to my oncologist in December, but given all of the test results, plus my activity, she concluded it was muscular. Well, here we are in the final days of January and the pain is still present and more so than it was last month. At this point, I have no idea which doctor to call first. I scheduled an appointment with my primary. She is the one who insisted, despite my lack of symptoms other than anemia, lack of family history, and lack of risk factors was insistent I get a colonoscopy because she was concerned I had colon cancer way back in APRIL 2024. I obviously didn't take her seriously initially. We talked through my symptoms and activity. Her first thought was possibly diverticulitis. Given my history (Yes, I am so over those words), she wanted to do...

I feel like I have been waiting for this event all year! Well, truthfully, I am not sure If I was waiting for it or dreading it. This is one of those things that was a "promise" to Samantha      after I woke up from surgery. I had a million reasons to not run this half and no one would have thought of me as weak or a quitter. However, I refuse to let cancer rob me of one of the things that I used to love to do. Yes, I am a crazy person that used to love running. This past year, it has been more of a love/hate relationship. I love to be able to run, but hated the toll it took on my body. I loved the runners high, but hated the aches and pains that should not have been. I loved getting out there and just feeling free, but I hated when my body failed me.  I guess I really started training in late August after the wedding. It was slow, but went well. I turned into a 5am runner. That was difficult. For the most part it went ok. My body was not adjusting well. Some days we...