Surgical Consults are Done!

I have had a lot more information thrown at me since my last update, which was Wednesday. Before I get to the update, I am going to give a PSA. March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. If you are reading this, you are likely over the recommended screening age of 45. Don't put off getting checked. I would have still had cancer if I was screened at 45 as opposed to 48, but I probably wouldn't be stage 4 right now. That being said, I think I was already 45 when the age changed. To my children, who may or may not read this now or at some point in the future, you are supposed to start screening at 35. You are high risk. My only indication something was wrong (until about 2 months before I was diagnosed) was anemia. 

So, where did I leave off? UGH...the CT Scan...that was an experience that I would prefer to never have again, but apparently, it's protocol. When the CT was over, I had to wait about an hour and a half for my pump to finish to get it disconnected. The rest of Wednesday was pretty uneventful. Just like the previous chemo, the hardest days are going to be Thursday-Saturday after disconnect. It was so very rough. There was one point of Friday where I thought to myself, Is it worth it? Yes, it is, but when you feel so horrible, it is hard to see the why. It will take some times to learn how to manage the effects of the chemo. What I have experienced so far is extreme fatigue. Last time, I was amped up on steroids for the first few days and unable to sleep. Not the case this time. All I wanted to do was sleep. There were some GI issues. Then so much nausea. I can handle almost anything, but nausea makes me want to just die. I have never been one to have heartburn, but I had that too. It hurt so bad. This combo made the FOLFOX of 2025 seem easy. 

The planner in me really does not like this journey. Last time we had a plan and that is just what happened. That is not so much the case this time. One thing I like about MyChart is being able to see all of the details. I even read the clinical notes. Three doctors all have different wording. One uses the term "Prolong Life." Another uses the term "Periods of Disease Free Survival." Another used the term "Curative Intent." That last one caught me off guard, because I thought we were well past that point. I will hold on to those words though. That being said, a WHOLE lot has to happen to get to that point. Right now the plan is to do chemo for 2 months. At that point, I will have a repeat CT scan and consults with the surgeons. Two months is the time table because of the liver met. Chemo is very hard on the liver, so we don't want it to be in decent shape if surgery is on the table at that point. The perimet surgeon prefers 3-4 months of chemo, but when the liver is involved will do 2. The CT needs to show that chemo is working to stop and hopefully shrink all of the cancer in my body. The most recent scan showed my liver met at almost 2 cm, so it grew in 3 weeks. The large mass remained unchanged. Then there were several tumor deposits in my peritoneal cavity. The scan mentioned 4, but those typically don't show well and could be underrepresented on the scans, which is why we need to show that chemo is having an effect on the ones that we know are there AND no more become visible. My CEA number also needs to either stay steady or start to drop. If things go well, then I could be a good candidate for surgery. This is the goal! I would need to be off chemo for 6 weeks...important to stop and slow growth before that point. Then there will be a look and see procedure. A cameral will be inserted to look at the peritoneal cavity. This is the part that freaks me out, because I am terrified there would be way more there than what is thought. Right now, I am labeled with moderate peritoneal disease. If everything looks ok after the Look and see, then we schedule surgery. Six weeks after that, back on chemo. I have been told to stay active. Keep in shape and despite feeling chemo crummy, don't do anything to lose muscle mass. It is important to go into surgery as healthy and strong as possible. 

There was so much more information. It  was too much...its ok. The short version is chemo needs to do what it is supposed to do. 

I am still praying for a miracle! Seeing one doctor use the words "curative intent" helps me believe it may be possible. Of course, "curative intent" requires everything to line up just right.

Specific prayer requests: Pray for God to move big! Pray that chemo doesn't just stop or stabilize the growth, but pray for shrinkage. The best outcome will come from shrinkage. Pray for my CEA number to start dropping. I am not sure if it is even possible to drop after one round, but I am sure praying for it. Pray for the side effects. My blood pressure is high. My ankles are swollen. My GI tract is whacked! The nausea, heartburn, headaches, constipation, and diarrhea are real and so very hard. The fatigue is intense. It is hard to stay active when all I want to do is sleep. Pray for my miracle. 

Monday is a chemo day. Pray the blood work is good and I can proceed.