Jennifer's Cancer Journey

 I made it to my appointment this morning. At check in the lady commented about how I looked tired. I replied with I just don't want to be here. She called it a love/hate relationship. The folks here are great, but the reason for being here is not.  So, I am here with clean hair and a fresh face. I have already had several pee stops. I forgot to put the numbing cream on my port this morning, so had to use the freezing spray. I will not forget again! They have taken my blood and now I wait.  On the last update I forgot to include my genetic consult. I won't go into details, but it is recommended due to my age. They said that some people don't want to know. There were 3 options: not test, the basic test, or the full test for as much as possible. Since it will not affect future insurance options...colon cancer does that for me, I opted for the full on test. That way if something comes back, my kids can follow up and stay on top of things. They will have 90 days to get the te...

 Round 5 starts tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it...actually, I dread it. I did not bounce back from round 4 the way I had been. The exhaustion has never left. I have tripped over my feet a few times due to the neuropathy. My stomach has not been well at all. The cold sensitivity never left. This made it hard during my rodeo shifts. I usually have a water in my hand and one in my back pocket. I could not hold one in my hand. Even having the bottle in my pocket bothered me. This means that I ended up pretty dehydrated during my rodeo shifts. It was also hard to drink the water since it was cold. I also had some wicked looking muscle twitches in my calves. It literally looked like there was some sort of alien being in my legs. I have lost quite a bit of hair  this round. Then, there was a new side effect...bloody nose. I have had several and they don't really stop easily. Please pray for these effects to lesson this next round. I know that it is not likely. The effects in...

 I kind of feel like it has taken longer to bounce back after this round of chemo. The nausea and fatigue are still pretty bad today. It doesn't help that I seem to be fighting allergies, which apparently isn't easy when the body is already taxed. I got to rest on Wednesday after disconnect thanks to spring break. Thursday was spent trying to rest. Friday, yesterday, I took Hannah to her softball game in Texas City. The plan was to stay and watch varsity after her game, but I only made it to about the 3rd inning. I had already tried eating a trail mix and had taken two different anti nausea meds. It was obvious that I was not going to feel better. I tried calling Hannah, but she didn't answer. Later, she reminded me that I told (drilled into) her to never have her phone out in the dugout...the one time a kid actually listens to what I say... One of the moms went and got her for me. Then we headed to the car slowly for the very long drive home. Hannah didn't notice that ...

 I am officially disconnected from the pump. 4 rounds down 8 to go! I managed to work my rodeo shift last night. It was not too tough until about The last hour.  Prayer request: This morning my right arm is a little red and warm. Please pray for it to resolve. I can’t ice it due to the oxaliplatin. Right now it is a watch and see. If it gets worse, painful, or swollen, then I need to get it checked for a blood clot. The nurse mentioned it could also be cellulitis. I’m praying it’s nothing and will resolve by the end of the day. Please pray this with me. 

 I am a little late getting started on this today. I feel like it has been a little of a whirlwind. Still don't want to be here, but here I am. I arrived at the infusion center a little earlier than normal. There was an accident nearby that had the freeway closed and I was unsure if it would affect my route. I forgot it was spring break, so the traffic was mostly light until I neared the freeway. I u-turn before getting that far, so I was not impacted by the backup on the freeway.  My monthly appointment with the oncologist was this morning. It went well. We discussed by issues with the pain and neuropathy in my hands and feet. So far, it is manageable and for the most part doesn't linger the whole 2 weeks. Once we get to that point, we will back off some. We did start the Oxipilatan at the slower rate again, since I tolerated it well last time. My blood tests results showed up in MyChart as part of the after visit summary. All things related to anemia are still low, but slowl...

 If you have read any of the past updates, then you will know how much I was looking forward to seeing Reba at the Rodeo. Good news! I made it and it was awesome! For real though...it was tough. Samantha and I  arrived around 3:00 and met up with Marc, Hannah, and Anthony. We set off at a fast and furious pace...probably my first mistake! My plan was to try and cram all of my Rodeo into one day. We made it through the parking lot and into the carnival entrance. About the time that I made it to the street between the Astrodome and NRG, it hit me. I wanted to take it all in. I was really there. It was a struggle not to cry, because I really wanted to. I slowed my pace a little. We headed to the Center to see all of the things and eat all of the samples. We had to tell Marc he was not allowed to wander off, because we had a system. There was a certain way that we walk through the center and any deviations result in missed things and mass confusion. Have I mentioned that I like co...

I feel like anyone who read yesterday's update AND today's devotion might ask me if I read the devotion. Yes, I did! It was kind of a slap in the face this morning. I don't have the book with me right now, so no words of wisdom from the author, but the verse is one that I know well.  Philippians 4:6-7 says, " Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God . And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".   I have been worrying and stressing more than normal. Today, I could put my finger on what is going on and why. My calendar is on my phone. My calendar is pretty full this time of year, so I regularly check it to see what I have going on for the day or the week. Each time I scroll past an infusion appointment, I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach. It is like my mood instantly changes. Yet, I don't want to delete the...

 Yesterday, several people expressed concern since I had not really had much to say this past week. It was not intentional, but I really didn't have anything to say. Even the inner dialogue in my brain was silent, which is very rare! I have tried for years to get my brain to shut up, but it just has so much to say. For those of you that are not aware, I am an introvert. I know, some of you may see me and think there is absolutely no way, but it is true. A few years ago, our work team did various placement tests. I don't remember which one takes into consideration the introvert and extrovert qualities, but I scored ZERO points on the extrovert side. Of course, this means I got a 100 on the introvert scale. If you know me well, I strive for perfection. I don't care if an 89.5 is still an A, it is not a 100! I don't think it was possible for me to rig the test, because there were a gazillion questions. Also, no one in the room for that team meeting was surprised. All that ...