Lightbulb Moment...possibly

I feel like anyone who read yesterday's update AND today's devotion might ask me if I read the devotion. Yes, I did! It was kind of a slap in the face this morning. I don't have the book with me right now, so no words of wisdom from the author, but the verse is one that I know well. 

Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". 

I have been worrying and stressing more than normal. Today, I could put my finger on what is going on and why. My calendar is on my phone. My calendar is pretty full this time of year, so I regularly check it to see what I have going on for the day or the week. Each time I scroll past an infusion appointment, I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach. It is like my mood instantly changes. Yet, I don't want to delete the appointments off of my calendar, because I need to see any conflicts. I also need to be aware of those weeks when I am making plans or trying to schedule something. So, what is the answer? I think I need to reshape my mind as to what those appointments are doing for me rather than looking at them with dread. I really do dread those days. I don't think this will be an easy mindshift, but if it can help me with my doom and gloom feeling, I will try. 

I am thankful that there is medicine that can kill cancer cells. I am thankful that I live in a country that has access to this medication. I am thankful that I have health insurance. I am thankful for the technology we have to find and treat cancer. I am thankful that cancer is no longer an automatic death sentence. I pray for peace through the journey. I pray to be in HIS presence and feel HIS presence through the journey. I pray that I will be cured of this cancer and will not have a recurrence. I pray for peace through all of the tests that come along with monitoring for new cancer and recurrence. I pray that I will be used. I pray that somehow through this I can be a blessing to others. I pray that my heart will be focused on God and not all of the what ifs. I also pray for many tomorrows. 



 

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