Jennifer's Cancer Journey

 I am in the chair and being infused as we speak. I am exhausted...it was a long night and I only got 2 hours of sleep. . My arm and shoulder pain kept getting worse, so I went to the ER to check for a blood clot and PE. Both of those came back clear for that issue. However, there were a few other things that popped up. They didn't mention them, but I saw it on the report. Of course it has my head spinning. I am just going to copy word for word what the report said in these 2 different sections.  Lungs: Minimal bilateral posterior dependent lower lobe subsegmental atelectasis. Incidental note of a punctate 2mm peripheral right lateral upper lobe pulmonary nodule, reference image 50 of the axial lung window series#304.No focal airspace consolidations are identified. No significant pulmonary edema is identified. No pleural effusions or pneumothoraxis identified. The tracheal airway is clear without significant intraluminal debris. Mediastinum: Heart size is within normal limits...

 Round 5 was tough. The nausea and stomach issues are still hanging around. I can have a good day followed by a bad day, but in reality, I wake up feeling yuck. Then I have a few hours of feeling ok before I start feeling yuck again at night. My Aunt's graveside service was Wednesday (followed by a softball game) and I think I tried too hard to feel and look put together, because yesterday was horrible.  My prayer requests for round 6 are more of the same, plus some. Please pray for less nausea. Although, I would almost prefer it over the horrible cold sensitivity and neuropathy. Then again, I am not a fan of "nausea" that goes out the other way. I have had lots of random pains in my abdomen. It is mostly at the top and some on the right side (surgery side). It has been one of those nagging things for months, but at what point does is become not normal (because it is normal) or am I left with random pains for the rest of my life? At the disconnect from the last round, the...

 There is a saying that the only 2 things in life that are certain are death and taxes. Tomorrow is tax day and I haven't even thought about taxes until today...yet I haven't actually done anything other than think. Death...this one is tough. In less than I year I have had FIVE family members die, plus one family friend. At times, it feels like my family is being taken out little by little. Five deaths. Two cancers. Many other health issues. A year ago today, if you would have told me I would have attended 6 funerals, plus visitations, before 12 months was up, I would have said that there was no way! How much can one family take?  Each of these deaths has hit me differently.  With each death, it feels like part of my childhood...my memories... gone with them. This last one though has got to be the hardest. I don't know why...it was probably time. She lost her memories...or they were trapped, many years ago. That doesn't make it easier. My Aunt Betty was a big part of my...

 I am officially disconnected from the pump and through with round 5. Side effect wise, it could have been worse. The biggest nag this time was nausea and a little bit of vomiting on Monday night. Still have nausea today, but I guess it is manageable. I need to hydrate and drink more water, but it just doesn't taste good and feels funky in my mouth and kind of hurts in my throat.  There isn't a nice fraction to go with this round... 5/12...doesn't sound nice and whole. I am ready to rebound before round 6, but I sure would like to just curl up and sleep (or attempt to sleep) for a while. For now, I am getting ready for GLOW night. I may go walk a mile at some point this afternoon. My goal is to try and get a mile a day. 

 I am not the same happy-go-lucky person that I was yesterday. The infusion wasn't too bad, just a little nausea throughout. I am home with the pump and made Hannah take me for a walk. I had to tell her to slow down. I have a little bit of a headache, but the nausea is horrible. I have taken meds for the headache and for the nausea. I am struggling to eat my chicken and rice. Drinking water is hard, so I dumped in a pack of liquid iv.  Yesterday, I was rocking it in the gym. Today, I want to curl up and die. Ok...maybe die is not the best choice of words in this situation, but I absolutely HATE being nauseous. I am 100% not a fan! I am wondering if sleep will make it go away, but then again, I was pumped full of steroids this morning. I may have to try and find a barf bag.  Have I mentioned before about my relationship with roller coasters? As a child and teen, I loved them. The thrill was amazing. I like the adrenaline rush. I would still ride them after children, but my...

 I am getting ready to say goodbye to the extra energy that I have had. I am thankful that I have had a chance to enjoy life some these last 2 few weeks. Tomorrow is attempt number 2 of round five of the healing juice. To say that I am dreading tomorrow would be an understatement. I want to feel good and in my head it seems a little counterproductive to make myself feel so bad for so long. I know this gives me the best shot at the long run...the long run being a long cancer free life.  I have tried to cram in all of the fitness things that time  and energy would allow. I am not sure what is going on with this influx of fat and I don't like it. I seem to be gaining 2 lbs a week despite eating a healthy low calorie (not restricting) diet and increased activity. All I know is that the scale better stop going up! It is not good for me mentally to feel and see all of the extra weight on my body. Sounds like a stupid prayer request, but please pray that it will level out. ...

While I know that the break in chemo is not ideal, I am thoroughly enjoying the break. I still have numbness in my mouth, foot, and fingers, but other than that, I am feeling good. Maybe they schedule chemo every two weeks, so you never get a chance to feel almost normal. It makes me dread Monday even more.   I had my monthly Signatera blood draw Friday. It always creates some anxiety, because it looks for circulating tumor DNA. I usually do it on my off chemo week, since it has to be done a certain number of days after treatment. This time, it was done on my extra off week. I am praying it is still negative. I have used the last week and a half to do some things I have missed. I have run, lifted weights, rode the bike, walked the dog, ran the ran, and used the rowing machine. I probably over did it just a tad, I am a little sore. It has been nice to be able to do these things. I am trying to cram it all in before Monday. At the same time, I am not happy with  the weight ...