Death and Taxes

 There is a saying that the only 2 things in life that are certain are death and taxes. Tomorrow is tax day and I haven't even thought about taxes until today...yet I haven't actually done anything other than think.

Death...this one is tough. In less than I year I have had FIVE family members die, plus one family friend. At times, it feels like my family is being taken out little by little. Five deaths. Two cancers. Many other health issues. A year ago today, if you would have told me I would have attended 6 funerals, plus visitations, before 12 months was up, I would have said that there was no way! How much can one family take?

 Each of these deaths has hit me differently.  With each death, it feels like part of my childhood...my memories... gone with them. This last one though has got to be the hardest. I don't know why...it was probably time. She lost her memories...or they were trapped, many years ago. That doesn't make it easier. My Aunt Betty was a big part of my child and teen years. She was my grandma's much younger sister. She was only 10 years older than my dad. The aunt I knew loved life, but also had some hardships. She lost her only daughter as an infant. Both of her sisters died on the same day in different cities and hospitals. Her youngest son died a few years ago, plus a few other really hard things. After the death of my grandma, I considered her my honorary grandma. Many of my core childhood memories include her. I got to spend time at her house every summer with another cousin. It was a blast! My aunt had a pool and a boat! I got to lounge by the pool all day...after our "stories." I got to go to the lake and water ski. We played hard. We shopped. We played trivia. We read books. We shelled peas and shucked corn. We watched the Rockets playoffs and the OJ chase together. She cooked! I ate! There is nothing like some good old southern home cooking...especially when the veggies and meats are from their land or hunting. After I had kids we would talk for hours on the phone at least once a week. My aunt took me to all of the family reunions in Lott. I was blessed to know my great-grandparents AND many of my great-grandfather's siblings. I remember on one of these trips, while driving somewhere between Rosebud, Lott, or Marlin, there was a field of cotton. Some had grown on the other side of the fence. I was in my teenaged mood and trying to just zone out or sleep in the car, but my aunt had other ideas. She pulled over on the side of the road and told me to get out of the car. She made me pick cotton. I did and will never forget that moment. She told me that her parents had picked cotton at some point. She thought it was an experience that I (a complete city girl) needed to have. Because of her, I can say that I have picked cotton, bailed hay, shucked corn...and did other stuff with it, shelled peas, and dug through buckets to pick out my own red potatoes. I can also say that I have pulled over on the side of the road and told my own kids to get out and pick cotton! 

Here is my Aunt Betty's Obituary if you would like to read more about her. I was one of the great-nieces she hosted in the summer. 

I am sure I will cry, when no one is looking. Sometimes I feel like people look to me for strength. Honestly, this year, it has been hard to be strong. I don't think it ever occured to me that there would be a point in my life when I didn't have any aunts or uncles. I have two aunts left, my dad's sister and my dad's older brother's wife. I have one great-uncle left, Aunt Betty's husband.  Let me just say that I was blessed in the aunt and uncle department! Every single one has been a cherished part of my life and made an impact on me. 

If you would, please keep my family in your prayers. Those we have lost- My uncle  who was my dad's little brother. My cousin's son (also makes him my cousin)...this death is still hard and my family could use all the prayers. My cousin...the brother of the one who lost her son. Throw in my cancer, plus one more and it's hard. At the end of March another cousin (we were close as kids) lost her brother (still my cousin). Now my aunt... There is honestly so much hurt in my heart for my family.