Jennifer's Cancer Journey

 I know, I haven't really hit the ugly yet.  In case you haven't noticed, I am always trying to deflect and find the humor somewhere in this whole experience, which is not the life I imagined and had planned out. It would not be honest to not include the hard, because it is hard and will only get harder.  Yesterday was disconnect. It went fine; I was just really tired. I was warned that the days following disconnect would not be good days. I worked and it was good! I love being back into the groove of things and truly enjoy what I do and the people I am surrounded by, but I was sure wiped out by the time I got home. I had problems falling asleep when I got home last night, despite the tylenol pm. I also took the nausea meds in hopes of not waking up at 1:20 am. Well, that didn't go well. Grunt woke up coughing and threw up on the bed. Marc had to clean the vomit (I am not allowed to touch anything that comes out of an animal), yet I still had to remind him to wash his han...

 I did not sleep well last night. I woke up again at 1:20 am very nauseous. I could feel my delicious hamburger in my stomach. I took some meds and tried to go back to sleep. At some point Grunt got off the bed and went to the living room. Later as I was somewhere between awake and asleep, I thought I heard him walking in my bathroom and drinking from the toilet. By the time my brain registered the sound, he was already back on the recliner. I got up and looked in the toilet. I always flush, but don't remember how long I help the handle down. It looked like he did indeed drink water. I tried to get him to drink fresh water from the dog bowl. My mind was in a panic, because chemo drugs are excreted in urine. I went into google overdrive and intense observance. After my attempt to get him to drink water, he followed me back to bed. I stared at him and held my hand on his stomach for about an hour. He never started having stomach distress or a seizure. I think I fell asleep around 3:3...

I originally wasn't going to post an update today, but have received a lot of questions. Last night was uneventful. I was tired, but couldn't sleep. I took a shallow bath and it was not as easy as I had imagined. I got clean (all but my hair), but it was a fail. Don't worry, the port and pump stayed dry.  I did wake up around 1:30 am nauseous. I never felt like I was going to throw up, but just the uneasy gag reflex feeling. I took one of the meds for that. I kind of slept off and on all night. I went from feeling like I was having hot flashes to getting cold. Of course, I didn't want to sweat. I was NOT going to try and figure out how to bath quickly before my ride to work arrived. Well, actually I drive and she rides...too much gas for her. When I got up, I took the steroids and zofran. Zofran gives me headaches and I don't like it, but I had taken the other med in the middle of the night. I managed to figure something out with my hair. Hopefully, it didn't lo...

 Well, today is the big day! I took something to help me sleep last night, so when my alarm went off this morning, I was not happy. I chugged an ensure and enjoyed my coffee before heading out for the 35 minute 6 mile morning drive to the hospital.  <This post will be done in increments throughout my day> For the first time in my many trips over the years...thanks broken finger and 4 surgeries to try and fix, I valeted my car. I stopped to pee before checking in...I am thinking nervous energy puts my bladder into overdrive! Sorry, TMI. I think I have had to pee about 6 times in the last 2 hours. No, it is not a UTI...just my body being my body. After my first potty stop,  I went to check in. That is the moment reality slapped me in the face...again. The receptionist could sense my unease immediately and tried to reassure me. I kind of don't like how my face gives me away. I need my face to keep its mouth shut! There were other people in the waiting room. One looked ...

 Tonight, for a brief moment, I forgot. I forgot I have cancer. I forgot there is a foreign object now implanted under my skin that is uncomfortable. I forgot that I am starting chemo in a few days. I got to laugh and sing and dance and it was fun. For that moment I was the me that I used to be.  It was nice!

Today, I completed the next step in the process to eradicate cancer from my body. I was up bright and early because I had to make sure Hannah was up. To my surprise she was already awake with teeth and hair brushed when I went to wake her up. Those of you that know Hannah know that pigs are flying somewhere! Thankfully, we did not encounter any "frozen fog" on the road...or in the air this morning. There was still some residual ice on our porch, steps, and bridges, but nothing we couldn't avoid.  Since this is Hannah's first waiting room experience...I think, I did not make her go sit in the room all alone. She got to hang out in the main area with all of the other people, but she had easy access to a bathroom and food if she wanted. I made sure she knew that they may call her, so she needed to actually answer her phone. She was supposed to work on her Discussion Board assignment, but I think she slept. Anyone who knows Hannah will agree with that statement! I didn...

I ran a full marathon once. Prior to that there had been some 5 milers on Thanksgiving, the 10 for Texas a few times, and a few half marathons. I have not always been a runner. I started running when I had 2 kids under 2. It became our afternoon thing. I would strap them into the jogger, get the dog ready, and we would go. This gave them a change of scenery and me a much needed break. Sometimes I still don't consider myself a runner. I am not fast, never have been. I am what I would like to consider "genetically heavy." I am not built like a runner. I did track and field in middle school, but by 8th grade I was on the field part of the track team. I could rock it at throwing the discus and shotput! A sprinter, I was not. I am what you would call average. I would never win the race, but I will also never come in last. The same goes with the longer runs. I am average. I have never been out to win the race, but to beat myself. Winning could be besting a time, the feeling aft...

 I know, this is the only thing those of you still reading want to know! If you have made it this far and read the previous EIGHT updates, you deserve a medal! I was on the edge of my seat...well, the couch waiting for the pathology results to pop up in my chart. It was frustrating me that they weren't there yet. I kept getting updates about results and updated results, but those centered around the ER visit...or so I thought. I couldn't sleep the Saturday night before my return to Sunday mornings. I was stalking my chart thinking that maybe I didn't get the message. Well, to my surprise, the results were there and had been since the 26th, they were just really far down the list and I didn't go that far. I will spare you the specifics of the pathology report and the  mutations. I put all of that in and consulted Dr. Google. I don't google like a normal person. I then looked for scholarly journals and peer reviewed articles pertaining to all of the specifics. If you ...

 What all can happen in the span of 10 days? Well, if you have following along so far, then you will see it is not a lot followed by BAM! I would like to say the 10 days were peaceful and uneventful, but my life doesn't work that way.  Obviously, 3 days were spent in the hospital. I was confined to a bed or a recliner. They must have been warned about my stubborn independence because there were alarms on both of those, which meant I had to call a nurse if I wanted to get up and walk or use the bathroom. They did remove the alarms Sunday afternoon after I proved myself capable! If you followed on facebook, there were some updates of my visitors, so I will spare you the recap. Most of my time was spend waiting for certain organs to "wake up."  Monday, the 23rd, I got the all clear to go home! Unfortunately, it was earlier than anticipated, so my ride home choices were Caleb or Hannah. Did I want to drift home or potentially crash? I chose the drifter. Thankfully, I made it ...

 I want to give this day a name, but couldn't come up with one.  D-Day...no, that one is not right. It seems like death day. While that is a possibility, it is not the plan. S-Day - S for surgery? Not quite right either. P-Day- Well, that was the day before. So, I am just going to call it THE day! Now, bear with me. This one will be long. I can't even do a TL:DR, because it would be too long. I am going to start this one on P-Day (see above). The doctor submitted all of the insurance information way back after my appointment on December 4. On December 5 I got an estimate from the hospital for a grand total of $0. Not sure if I consider that lucky or unlucky. I had already started bulking up on the prescribed antibiotics and was about to start some of the other prep. I am pretty sure I was helping Hannah with her final dual credit assignment when I received a text. My estimate was now nearly $62,000. That is NOT a typo or exaggeration! See photo below:  Before I could reac...

 The upcoming surgery date seemed like it would never arrive. Remember, I don't wait well. I had spent the last few days thinking of and writing down various passwords and how-to guides for my family. Not to boast or sound mean, but when it comes to understanding technology, they could all be boomers!  I ended up with about 5 pages of info. Step one: unlock my phone and save your face! I said it jokingly, but in reality, they would all lose if that step is skipped. We have the (large) family iCloud plan. It is all tied to my apple id and credit card. That holds all of their photos, contacts, and well...think of what all is on your phone. Step two: Either change the apple id or keep it and change the card info. I tend to be very detailed, so I am sure by page 5 they wouldn't care what got missed. Someone asked me who would be the most responsible to handle that. My response was Samantha, BUT Josh is the one who  understands all of the technology required to send transcript...

 The test results from my oncology appointment were not surprising. My iron levels were still low. Amazingly, my Hgb had gone up to 9.5. Still low, but better than my previous test. However, that doesn't give the big picture. I won't get into the details of all of the testing that was done. I consider myself pretty knowledgable about this type of stuff. My kids call me a nerd. They can ask me almost any random question and I have an answer. I joke that I am a wealth of useless knowledge. We play lots of games as a family. My favorite is trivia...they all want to be on my team, but when we are not playing team games, they try to stump me. I am frequently met with, "Why do you know that?" All that to say, there were some results that I had to google. I will spare you all the details of the various results, but one popped up as critical. My iron saturation was only 3%. The doctor called a few hours after I saw my results on the Labcorp website and we discussed all of the...

I don't know how everyone else's year goes by, but once I hit October I blink and it it January. It all starts with Caleb's birthday, Ren Fest, Family Reunion, and ends with Halloween. It goes by so quickly! November and December usually feel like they are over in a matter of days. Not this year. Thanksgiving week seemed to last forever. The impatient side of me was ready to get all of this started and eradicate my body of cancer as soon as possible. The anxious side of me was apprehensive and dreading what was to come. So, when December finally rolled around, I am not sure how I was feeling. All of my emotions, feelings, anxieties, and determination were all rolled into one. I had my appointment with the oncologist on December 2. You may be wondering why I would do that before the surgery. I knew there was really nothing she could tell me other than what I already knew. It was mainly to get my foot in the door and the process started. I am sure I looked like death at this ...

 So now what? I was told I have colon cancer. I had a CT scan done and got those results. The GI doctor called me with the pathology results. No surprise, the mass was cancerous. I will leave out the specifics of the pathology report, but will say that it did not show signs of being a genetic thing called Lynch Syndrome.  So, I wait... Those that know me well, know that I don't wait well. My mom said that I was born early and hit the ground running and haven't stopped since. Well, I am now on a forced stop. See there is this holiday called Thanksgiving. As you can see from my dates on the 1st post, it is near Thanksgiving. Nothing happens on that week, which is why all of my next appointments don't happen until December. I was left with my own thoughts, worries, and fears (yes, I will admit that I have those) for about 10 days. Actually, more than that, but at this point I was just moving to the next appointment.  It was during this time that I started wondering...what di...