I miss yesterday

 I am not the same happy-go-lucky person that I was yesterday. The infusion wasn't too bad, just a little nausea throughout. I am home with the pump and made Hannah take me for a walk. I had to tell her to slow down. I have a little bit of a headache, but the nausea is horrible. I have taken meds for the headache and for the nausea. I am struggling to eat my chicken and rice. Drinking water is hard, so I dumped in a pack of liquid iv. 

Yesterday, I was rocking it in the gym. Today, I want to curl up and die. Ok...maybe die is not the best choice of words in this situation, but I absolutely HATE being nauseous. I am 100% not a fan! I am wondering if sleep will make it go away, but then again, I was pumped full of steroids this morning. I may have to try and find a barf bag. 

Have I mentioned before about my relationship with roller coasters? As a child and teen, I loved them. The thrill was amazing. I like the adrenaline rush. I would still ride them after children, but my motion sickness got worse as I got older. I remember being at Sea World one time with the family. I rode the Great White and almost passed out. I had ridden that ride many times, because we had season tickets for a few years. I don't know what was different, but I never rode it again. Then basic roller coasters that I once loved didn't love me back. One Spring Break we went to Six Flags...or whatever theme park is in Arlington. I rode a ride and was sick all day. Marc and I went to Universal one year with Mattress Giant. I was so excited for all of the Harry Potter rides. I got on one and it was all virtual reality type stuff. I had to close my eyes to keep from throwing up. Needless to say, I do not ride any type of rides anymore. I got off that roller coaster. This ride is a roller coaster that I can't get off of. I was reminded today by the NP and infusion nurse that the effects will get worse as I get farther into treatments. The sound of the pump reminds me that I am not even halfway done with this ride. I would rather feel any other way than nauseous...especially, when it is the type of nausea that is induced by a med. There is nothing that I can do to make it go away.

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