Today had been a good day up until this point. I have learned not to make plans, because I don't know how I am going to feel at various points throughout the day.
Well, I did a thing. My plan...and I will use that word loosely, was to run to the stop sign. I thought better of that, because you really shouldn't go from a complete stop to just up and run. So, I walked to the park. I stretched out my stiff legs. I even did extra stretching because I may or may not have created some injuries last year trying to will my body to run. I took a drink of my water that is mixed with liquid IV...gotta stay hydrated. Then I set out. I had no idea how my run...which was really just a slow jog was going to go. I put one foot in front of the other and waited for 'it'. What is 'it'? 'It' is everything that I would feel while running over the course of the last year. The 'it' never came. I could breathe. I was not lightheaded. My legs weren't screaming in pain. It did not feel like I was trying to run carrying a block of cement. I made it halfway around the park and felt good. Not just good, but really good. At this time LAST YEAR I did not feel this good while attempting to run. I made it 3/4 around the park and the tears started to flow. There were so many emotions that I don't think I could name even half of them. I can only name the emoji emotions anyway. I made it a full lap around the park. I cried. I didn't just cry, I sat down and cried. This one lap around the park was easy. Nothing hurt. I could breathe. I was not dizzy. I can not remember the last time I had that feeling. It has been more than a year. I could have kept going. There were times when I didn't know if I would ever be able to do just that one lap again. I walked 3 more laps praising God for the ability to run one lap...0.4 miles around the park.
Y'all, don't take for granted the things that you can do. Be thankful to be able to put one foot in front of the other.
I know not every day will be like today. Next week is a chemo week, so I will be knocked back down. I know there will be days like this past Monday. It sucks! I will be thankful for all of the little things that are bigger than a Monday!
Do you like music? I really love music. I like all kinds of music. There are always songs that I just love. I heard a song for the first time a few weeks ago. I don't know that I have songs of the year, but if I did. This one may be it. I am taking it all back!!!
What is wrong with me? To figure this out, we are going to go back...way back. Ok, not really...only about a year. Chances are if you are reading this, you know that I like to run. Well...I have a love/hate relationship with running. I love doing it and the way it makes me feel, but I hate getting started. Back in 2023 I was running 80-100 miles a month until I got busy during the "holiday season." However, even during that season, I could just get up and go for a 5-7 mile run with no issues. Fast forward to February 2024. Running was hard. Then rodeo season started and I got busy. Then at the end of March, running was harder. It was frustrating. I could not run a full mile without stopping and feeling like I was going to die. I couldn't breathe. My body hurt. I have had issues with exercise induced asthma in the past, so I called my doctor and we refilled my inhaler, which I hadn't needed for years. It didn't help. I spent several days every week trying to get i...
So now what? I was told I have colon cancer. I had a CT scan done and got those results. The GI doctor called me with the pathology results. No surprise, the mass was cancerous. I will leave out the specifics of the pathology report, but will say that it did not show signs of being a genetic thing called Lynch Syndrome. So, I wait... Those that know me well, know that I don't wait well. My mom said that I was born early and hit the ground running and haven't stopped since. Well, I am now on a forced stop. See there is this holiday called Thanksgiving. As you can see from my dates on the 1st post, it is near Thanksgiving. Nothing happens on that week, which is why all of my next appointments don't happen until December. I was left with my own thoughts, worries, and fears (yes, I will admit that I have those) for about 10 days. Actually, more than that, but at this point I was just moving to the next appointment. It was during this time that I started wondering...what di...
Still feeling a little shell shocked from the previous day, I headed back to the hospital for my CT scan. I got all checked in. Then a nurse brought me out a 32 oz cup with a contrast solution in it for me to drink...within the next hour. I was making decent progress on the drink. However, there was a lady in the waiting room talking on her phone. She was loud and it was on speaker phone. It was horrible. We all knew her life story, which churches she went to, different people in her life who had changed churches, the reasons for the change, and so much more. She never stopped to breathe. In all honesty, I did not know it was on speaker phone until the very last caller when I heard the person get a chance to speak. The nurse called her back, but she remarked that she had not finished the drink. The people around me were thrilled for her to be called back. I may have made a comment about her not finishing the drink because she never stopped talking long enough to drink. The 3...
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