My Name is Jennifer and I have Scanxiety


 I guess it is a good thing that I don't have a fear of blood or needles! Today I went in for a blood draw. This is the same test I received results from yesterday. This test is done every 4 weeks. 

Now that I have a negative test, we would like the following tests to be negative. I explained yesterday that this test looks for circulating tumor DNA in my plasma. It is specific to me and my tumor. Not only does this test point to possible recurrence, but the efficacy of the treatment. Negative means the chemo is working. I am learning that with each scan, blood draw, test, etc. I have anxiety surrounding the results. It is my understanding that this is a completely normal feeling when going through cancer. I know I have zero control over the results or what may or may not be going on in my body, but that doesn't lessen the anxiety. 

Over the last few years God has been showing me that I am not in control and I need to surrender it all to Him. This is really not an easy thing for me to do. I grew up with a lot chaos, so I held tight to things that I could control. This is what I am now calling perceived control. Today, I am surrendering my anxiety surrounding this month's test. 

Philippians 4:6-8 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."


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